Stone Cold II-Alternate Ending
by Tempest E. Dashon
Summary: No one told her that on the other side of the warmth and comfort of love was a stone cold river of loneliness...emptiness. If they had maybe she would have avoided it...him...maybe. Then again maybe not... *A birthday present for my baby sister and coven witch Claw*
1. Chapter 1

**Greetings my lovely!**

**Quick little thing here. As you saw on the title...this is the second version of this story. The original if you have not read it or seen it is a birthday fic that was requested and did not end happy at all. I was asked if I would continue the story where it ended happy or write one that was an HEA. As I am normally a angst fluffball of romance and Happily-Ever-After...that was the plan all along.**

**So here it is...the original story with the ending changed. The first four chapters are literally the original story without the last little bit of sadness. If you have read that one and wish to skip to the end, then go straight to the last chapter. **

**I hope you all enjoy and though this is complete and I have no plans to write more...we all know me...so who knows in the future.**

**Always**

**~Tempest**

**PS: Chapters 1-4 alternate between Hermione and Tom's POV-the last chapter is all in Tom's as I find I enjoy writing his side more. :)**

* * *

Hermione stood at the top of the Astronomy tower, her hair blowing in wild ringlets across her face and down her back. The biting air of winter escaped her lips in puffs of fog, her lips tinted blue from the cold…a cold she could no longer truly feel.

Below her a fire was going as her classmates gathered to celebrate before the winter holidays. They had all recently passed midyear pre-Newts and were in high spirits. The singing and laughing echoed up the wall and sounded more like nails on a chalk board to her.

Her eyes strayed once more from the cloud covered starry sky to the top of the head of dark brown hair. He was sitting once more next to that pureblood tramp Drucila Black and Hermione felt that sluggish stab of pain that always happened as she looked at him.

How had she let this happen? When she had boarded the train so many years ago it was with a hopeful heart and a determination few others could match. And then she had met him. Tom Marvolo Riddle, half-blood orphan with a huge chip on his shoulder, an arrogance few could pull off at eleven and a thirst for all the same things she had wanted.

They had started off rocky as he had sneered at her wild hair and perfectly kept uniform. Her sorting into Gryffindor and his into Slytherin had only exacerbated the rivalry between them. Their competition in their classes became an all-out war of who could learn and recite the most knowledge or get the correct answers.

As a way to try to stop the feud as it grew in third year, several of their teachers paired them up as partners for projects, essays, and potions. Hermione had grown exceedingly stressed as her grades and his began to drop as neither could seem to let go of their own pride and work together.

The exploding potion had been the catalyst and the turning point for them both. They had been arguing as usual on who would do what part as they brewed and in a crucial moment, Hermione had watched in horror as Tom had reached to grab one ingredient and gotten another stuck to the arm of his robe. As he moved to drop the correct ingredient in, the stray passenger had also fluttered into the liquid.

She only had a split second and the lion in her could do nothing less. Just as the potion hissed and bubbled, Hermione shoved him as hard as she could in the chest, sending him stumbling away from their desk as she threw her hands out to the side and cast the strongest shield she could muster without her wand. Her cry rang through the room as the white-blue magic flared to life around her just as the cauldron exploded.

She knew she had to have screamed, the only thing she was aware of was the scalding liquid that coated her back and the searing pain that ran across her skin and into her bones. Her vision swam and as it blackened his shocked face was what she took with her into the abyss.

She woke some time later in the infirmary, her body bandaged across her back and the back of her thighs. She was naked under the covers and lying on her stomach and the pain caused a tiny whimper to flee from her throat. A gentle hand smoothed her hair from her face as a familiar voice spoke, for once the tone filled with caution instead of hatred.

"Try not to move my little lion. I'll go get the Matron so she can give you more pain potion."

Her blurry vision only gave her an outline of the boy she had spent the past three years fighting with before he was gone and the darkened room was all she could see. She whimpered again at being left alone and felt a lone tear crawl down her cheek as the skin on her back pulled with her breathing.

Within moments the Matron bustled over and carefully lifted her head so she could drink down the acidic potion. The taste caused her to gag slightly but she took shallow breaths to keep the foul liquid down. The potion immediately started to work, the throbbing in her back and legs fading slowly to a numb haze.

She knew words were said to her but she couldn't seem to concentrate on anything but the wave of drowsiness that rolled across her brain and forced her eye lids to close. Another gentle touch to her hair had her sighing and though she wanted to open her eyes and prove she wasn't dreaming, she just couldn't seem to and with a frustrated huff she let sleep take her again.

She woke this way several more times and each time he was there with his cautious tone and gentle hands, the Matron called immediately to take care of her pain and the sand man would take her once more from his whispered touches. And each time she wondered why he was still by her side and if it meant she no longer had to worry about defending herself from him when this was over.

Weeks passed with her in the infirmary. Once she was well enough to sit up and carefully roll over, Riddle was there to greet her. He said nothing about what had happened and had taken to going over all the lessons she had missed. A routine was born as she would read all her lessons while he was in class. At breakfast, lunch, and dinner he would sit beside her and discuss the new material, practicing the spells with her and working on their essays side by side until he had to return to the dungeons for curfew.

By the time she was released to return to class, she was completely caught up and even a few weeks ahead as was usual for her. She worried her lip on the first day back in class as she figured that things would go back to normal. Only…they didn't.

Riddle arrived in class with his cronies as usual but instead of a sneer or a hateful glare, he sat down beside her with a pensive look, pulling his book and supplies out to prepare for class. As the class commenced, he took notes and raised his hand just as he normally did. When he answered he looked to her and when she nodded at him in agreement, he gave her the first small tilt of his lips. For him, he might as well have been grinning from ear to ear and Hermione tripped into the age old trap and fell flat on her face in infatuation.

After class he walked with her to the next and the next. A twinge in her back caused her to drop her book during one of their walks and he picked it up before she even had a chance. Reaching over he took her knapsack as well and carried both for her. In potions he was meticulous in checking that only what was meant to go in the cauldron did and kept his body just slightly covering hers the entire class.

It only took a few days before her confusion overrode her caution and she confronted him in a quiet alcove in the library where they were studying for a project due at the end of the week.

"Not that I want to go back to the way things were…but what is going on Riddle? A month ago you hated the very thought of my existence and believed every breath I took was one stolen from you. Now you are like this dark knight standing at my side. It's…odd…"

She trailed off knowing the last words were not what she had been thinking but not dumb enough to voice her real thoughts on the matter. His dark eyes slowly looked up from the book he was reading to pierce into hers with such an intense stare that she had to clear her suddenly dry throat.

"Why did you save me?"

His question threw her off guard and she shook her head to try to clear it of the fog his gentle inquiry caused.

"What?"

He continued to stare at her with that unblinking intensity before sitting back and brushing the fringe of his dark hair off of his brow.

"I asked 'why did you save me?' That day in potions…you knew what was going to happen before it happened. I heard the hiss and I knew something had gone wrong but not what. You knew and instead of saving yourself…you saved me…why?"

Biting her lip she cast her eyes everywhere but at him as she tried to find an answer to that question. Coming up blank and not wanting to lie as it was not in her nature Hermione looked back at him with a helpless shrug.

"I…don't know. I saw the fairy wing stuck to your robe and before I could utter a warning it had already fluttered into the potion. I remembered reading that fairy magic could be volatile if added too early and I just reacted. I…well I mean…no one is heartless enough to let a fellow classmate get hurt if they could help it…right? I knew it was coming and you didn't. So I did what anyone would have done. I got you out of the way and did what I could to protect myself."

"That's just it Hermione…not everyone would have done that. Most would have saved themselves or frozen in fear and both of us would have been hit with the blast. Instead you pushed the boy you hate the most out of harm's way and you cast…wandlessly I might add…fast enough to keep the explosion contained and keep it mostly off of you. Slughorn said if it had not been for that, you may not have survived and more of the class would have been hurt."

His eyes darkened to an impossible black as he moved around the table to kneel in front of her. She shifted as he came closer and couldn't help the little pants of breath that escaped at his nearness.

"Is it because you are a Gryffindor? The other lions all dove for cover when you shouted your spell. None of them moved to help or showed any kind of bravery or foolishness."

"Is it because you are brilliant and your brain worked fast enough to react? Salazar knows I started to react the moment I heard the hiss but I was a second later than you in realizing the danger. That second could have cost me my life or you yours."

He took her hands in his and held them gently as he searched her eyes.

"No one in my entire life has ever cared enough to help me, let alone risk their life to save mine. I am used to being alone and having to stand on my own. I have been doing it since I can remember. Then this annoying, swot of a witch comes along and not only proves she is as smart and as powerful as I am but also has the ability to hate me and put me verbally in my place as much as I do to her. Then she goes and does something I could never have imagined."

His eyes moved to her hands, his fingers tracing soft lines along her palms and up and down her fingers making her shiver and her skin tingle.

"I am trying to understand and I can't seem to. It doesn't add up. You hate me. You despise having me near you. I make you cringe and snarl and scream in frustration. You have called me every name in the book and have even cursed me to many a dark and rotting place. Yet when the unthinkable happened…you saved my life and I can't get that moment out of my head."

His eyes flashed back to hers as he tilted his head like he was looking at a puzzle that didn't quite fit together anymore.

"I have to know how everything works. I can admit it's a serious problem. I break things down until I know how they tick, how to break them, and how to build them better and more to my purpose. I thought I knew you…had you all figured out. And now I realize I don't know anything and that is making me crazy!"

She couldn't help it. The giggle escaped her mouth before she could clamp down on it and his eyes turned to liquid fire as he glared at her.

"I'm sorry. I'm not meaning to laugh at you. It's just…you look so serious and upset that I did not fit inside some box you thought I fit into. People aren't like that Riddle. People think and feel. They have experiences and memories, hopes and dreams, needs and desires."

"All these things paint who they are, who they want to be, and who they will be. Some may be more predictable than others but every person has the capacity to be spontaneous, surprising, other than they are. Even when people are civil and routine, they are still just directed chaos. Anyone can change at a moment's notice in the right or wrong situation."

"Tom."

She felt her eyebrows drawn down in confusion as she looked at him.

"What?"

His smile was just another slight tilt of one side of his mouth but the reaction inside her chest was just as strong as the first time.

"My name is Tom. I hate when you call me Riddle. It's what you called me when you were spitting your brand of venom at me. I find in my confusion that I don't like to hear you say it anymore."

Looking back and forth from one eye to the other, Hermione sat back in her seat with a pensive look before speaking.

"And why would I call you anything else? I saved you from being hurt sure but you still hate me, we still aren't friends, and you are still the boy who has made my life hell the past three years."

She was sad to see that tilt of his lips fade as he frowned instead. He sat back on his heels for a moment, his eyes glazing over as his mind seemed to work through her words.

"No I'm not."

She knew her confusion was written deeply across her face but she couldn't help it. He had always kept her mind spinning and straining to keep up when it came to social situations and now was no different.

"I am not that same boy. I don't hate you. I did make your life hell and my excuses for that are childish and do not need to be said. But I don't hate you and I would like it if maybe we could try to be friends."

Pulling him up as she stood, Hermione looked him in the eye as she debated this idiotic decision she was about to make. Holding her hand out, she gave him a soft smile.

"Hello! I'm Hermione Dagworth, Gryffindor half-blood know-it-all swot."

His eyes stayed cool but that tilt appeared again and she could feel her heart beat harder as she kept her eyes on his. His slightly larger hand took hers and as his calloused palm rubbed against hers she couldn't help the thrill it sent down her spine.

"Tom Riddle, Slytherin half-blood, orphan, overall cold jerk with a god complex and very few manners. It's interesting to meet you Miss Dagworth."

She giggled as her eyes lit in amusement. Shaking his hand she licked her lips before speaking.

"It's a pleasure Mr. Riddle. As I feel that maybe, manners lacking or not, you and I could be friends, you can call me Hermione if you like."

The other side of his lips tilted up and the effect the full smile had on his face was devastating. His eyes even warmed some as he placed his other hand on the back of hers and held it gently between his.

"Then I insist you call me Tom as I believe you are correct…I think we will become fast friends my little lion."

"Okay…Tom."


	2. Chapter 2

Tom sat staring at the plain witch from Gyffindor. His mind was a whirl of confusion and chaos, not a normal or comfortable thing for him to deal with. He was used to order…in his mind and in his life. And then she had come along on the first day of his new life at Hogwarts and upset the entirety of his well thought out plans. He was always the smartest and most loved in school and here was this little swot stealing his moments to shine and garnering the same attention that he wanted…no deserved!

Then…today happened! He had heard the hiss too. Only his warning had been a split second too late. He knew the moment that sharp whisper of anger bubbled up from the frothing liquid in their cauldron that they were both about to be in serious trouble. And then strong hands had landed roughly on his chest and he was stumbling backwards, his arms pinwheeling as he tried to stay on his feet. He had landed in a heap on the floor just as the blue shimmer of a shield surrounded his lab partner and the world had become loud explosions and her anguishing screams.

Even as the class had cowered and cried, run for cover and panicked, he had been unable to do anything but watch in fascinated horror as the girl he thought to be his greatest nemesis arched in searing pain as the potion ate through her shields and scalded her back. As students fled and the teacher rushed forward to help, all he could think in a loop of his own mental chaos was, 'she saved me…why?'

Her groan of pain brought his mind back to the present and with a few quietly spoken words to her, not even sure what he said exactly in his dazed state, Tom rushed to get the school Matron. He waited as patiently as possible, shifting on his feet as his hands clenched and unclenched at his side as the girl…Hermione…was given more healing and another pain potion. He couldn't understand it yet but he didn't like being so far from her form and he wished the mediwitch would hurry up and go away.

As the weeks passed he found that he couldn't seem to stay away. She had saved him from an immense amount of pain and a part of him he had no idea was there suddenly sprang to life. He owed someone…and he was going to repay her!

And so with the same single minded focus he put to his school work and his future plans, he turned his attention to the tiny witch stuck in the hospital wing with massive potion burns. He made sure to gather all of her homework and course work. He spent every waking free moment by her side going over the subjects and making sure she was not only caught up but ahead like she seemed to prefer. He couldn't even fault her on that as he was the same way. He found as time moved on that he seemed to also benefit from her need for more and more knowledge. Not only did he learn the subjects he was supposed to be studying but found interest in others that she was reading on the side.

The first day back to class found him sitting in his usual seat beside her, a seat assigned at the beginning of the year in hopes of promoting unity between the two brightest students of the year instead of animosity. A hope that had been dashed to pieces…until now. He listened as she answered questions and looked to her for her approval when he answered his.

He felt his lips tilt in a slight smile at her first nod of agreement and an odd feeling washed over him. It felt like warm water being poured through his veins starting from his chest. He had no idea what it was or why he felt it and he didn't care. He had never felt anything so nice before and he made a promise to himself to try to catch that fleeting feeling as often as possible.

Turns out the only way to do that was to spend time with his once sole competition. On the walk to one of their classes it was obvious her wounds were still hurting her and she dropped the book she had been carrying in her hands. Reaching down he picked it up for her and on impulse he reached over and took her satchel as well. The least he could do for being unharmed was keep her pain at a minimum until she was fully healed.

Her timid smiles and confused brow scrunches only seemed to make that warmth grow through him and as they entered potions that day, he couldn't help but keep his body slightly angled to protect her from any possible mishaps. His meticulous methods became obsessive as he made sure not to add any ingredients that were not part of the process. He would not let her get hurt for him again.

All of his attention as he sought that warm, fuzzy feeling came to a head at the end of her first week back as she addressed him for the first time about something other than school.

"Not that I want to go back to the way things were…but what is going on Riddle? A month ago you hated the very thought of my existence and believed every breath I took was one stolen from you. Now you are like this dark knight standing at my side. It's…odd…"

Taking his time to look up at her, Tom considered giving her some Slytherin answer that would deflect this line of questioning completely but found he wanted to ask his real question more.

"Why did you save me?"

"What?"

He could tell he had caught her off guard with his bluntness and though he tried to stop it, he felt himself preen inside at having tilted her world on its axis once again.

"I asked 'why did you save me?' That day in potions…you knew what was going to happen before it happened. I heard the hiss and I knew something had gone wrong but not what. You knew and instead of saving yourself…you saved me…why?"

He watched that infernal lip disappear under her teeth and he had to really focus not to get lost in his own thoughts. Something about that action seemed to drive him towards an instinct he did not understand. And he did not like following instinct…it caused more trouble than it was worth.

"I…don't know. I saw the fairy wing stuck to your robe and before I could utter a warning it had already fluttered into the potion. I remembered reading that fairy magic could be volatile if added too early and I just reacted. I…well I mean…no one is heartless enough to let a fellow classmate get hurt if they could help it…right? I knew it was coming and you didn't. So I did what anyone would have done. I got you out of the way and did what I could to protect myself."

Frustration was the first feeling that came over him. No! No one was that selfless in his opinion. Everyone was always out for themselves and if stepping on their fellow classmates and peers got them where they were going then so be it. He knew if the roles had been reversed he would have saved himself and not given one thought about her well-being. His frustration pushed his response out before he had time to really consider his words.

"That's just it Hermione…not everyone would have done that. Most would have saved themselves or frozen in fear and both of us would have been hit with the blast. Instead you pushed the boy you hate the most out of harm's way and you cast…wandlessly I might add…fast enough to keep the explosion contained and keep it mostly off of you. Slughorn said if it had not been for that, you may not have survived and more of the class would have been hurt."

Standing he walked around the table to kneel in front of her. He watched her shift back in her chair and at first he thought it was in fear until he looked into her eyes. Her pupils had dilated and her breathing seemed to be coming in shallow pants but what he saw was not fear. How…curious…

Taking her hand in his as he searched her eyes he spoke his thoughts in a string of rambling nonsense.

"Is it because you are a Gryffindor? The other lions all dove for cover when you shouted your spell. None of them moved to help or showed any kind of bravery or foolishness."

"Is it because you are brilliant and your brain worked fast enough to react? Salazar knows I started to react the moment I heard the hiss but I was a second later than you in realizing the danger. That second could have cost me my life or you yours."

"No one in my entire life has ever cared enough to help me, let alone risk their life to save mine. I am used to being alone and having to stand on my own. I have been doing it since I can remember. Then this annoying, swot of a witch comes along and not only proves she is as smart and as powerful as I am but also has the ability to hate me and put me verbally in my place as much as I do to her. Then she goes and does something I could never have imagined."

He looked down in contemplation, his fingers running over the softness of her palm and tracing the lines in her skin. He didn't touch girls as a rule. The opposite sex was a distraction and a cruel and manipulative one at that. His mother had taught him all about the disgusting dangers of the female sex when she admitted to drugging his father in order to have him for her own. Tom would never be any woman's fool! Her shiver brought his mind back from that dark abyss and he let the rest of his thoughts free.

"I am trying to understand and I can't seem to. It doesn't add up. You hate me. You despise having me near you. I make you cringe and snarl and scream in frustration. You have called me every name in the book and have even cursed me to many a dark and rotting place. Yet when the unthinkable happened…you saved my life and I can't get that moment out of my head."

He lifted his eyes back to hers, looking intently at her and trying to figure out what made her tick…what made her the way she was. She was a mystery to him now and he hated an unsolved puzzle!

"I have to know how everything works. I can admit it's a serious problem. I break things down until I know how they tick, how to break them, and how to build them better and more to my purpose. I thought I knew you…had you all figured out. And now I realize I don't know anything and that is making me crazy!"

Her giggle turned him frustration into annoyed anger. Here he was being completely honest with her…with anyone for once…and she laughed at him for it. He cut his eyes back up to glare at her as he started to shift to move. Her next words stopped him however.

"I'm sorry. I'm not meaning to laugh at you. It's just…you look so serious and upset that I did not fit inside some box you thought I fit into. People aren't like that Riddle. People think and feel. They have experiences and memories, hopes and dreams, needs and desires."

"All these things paint who they are, who they want to be, and who they will be. Some may be more predictable than others but every person has the capacity to be spontaneous, surprising, other than they are. Even when people are civil and routine, they are still just directed chaos. Anyone can change at a moment's notice in the right or wrong situation."

Though he heard every word, his mind stuck on one thing and completely without his permission his mouth let the word slip before he could stop his idiocy.

"Tom."

Again her confusion came out as a startled 'what' and he felt his lips tilt on one side again as he let his amusement show. Taking a covered deep breath he decided in for a knut in for a galleon.

"My name is Tom. I hate when you call me Riddle. It's what you called me when you were spitting your brand of venom at me. I find in my confusion that I don't like to hear you say it anymore."

He watched her surprise fade to contemplation and he waited to see if she would acquiesce to his request or not.

"And why would I call you anything else? I saved you from being hurt sure but you still hate me, we still aren't friends, and you are still the boy who has made my life hell the past three years."

That warmth inside turned to a sharp ache and once again the smile slipped from his lips as he internally winced. He had no idea what the hell that feeling was but he hated it.

"No I'm not. I am not that same boy. I don't hate you. I did make your life hell and my excuses for that are childish and do not need to be said. But I don't hate you and I would like it if maybe we could try to be friends."

She stood at that pulling him with her. He had no idea what was about to happen but he felt his feet root to the spot in anticipation. Taking one step back from him she held out her hand and in confusion he looked from it to her as she spoke.

"Hello! I'm Hermione Dagworth, Gryffindor half-blood know-it-all swot."

Her smile came easily and warmed him to the core as she waited on his response. Reaching forward he carefully slid his hand into hers, enjoying the feel of her soft skin against his calloused palms.

"Tom Riddle, Slytherin half-blood, orphan, overall cold jerk with a god complex and very few manners. It's interesting to meet you Miss Dagworth."

Her eyes lit with amusement as she giggled again and this time it caused his heart to stutter in his chest instead of the anger he normally felt when anyone laughed at him. She pumped their hands up and down a few times in a solid hand shake before he watched her tongue peek out to run along her lips. That same primal instinct he did not like at all came roaring to the surface and he shoved it back inside the box he held it in. He would not give in to his baser instincts.

"It's a pleasure Mr. Riddle. As I feel that maybe, manners lacking or not, you and I could be friends, you can call me Hermione if you like."

At that he knew he gave her a full smile. Not something he did often he watched her eyes shine in appreciation. He knew he was handsome and he knew the effect his smile had on people, especially witches. And he admitted to himself in this moment he had no shame in using it on his little lion now. Holding her hand between both of his, he let her see the warmth he normally reserved for his father and grandfather.

"Then I insist you call me Tom as I believe you are correct…I think we will become fast friends my little lion."

"Okay…Tom."


	3. Chapter 3

That moment in the library seemed so far away now. They had become inseparable. They sat by each other in every class they could. They made sure to take the same courses every year to try to make this happen as often as possible. They studied together and were always seen in the library, their heads together over some book or another.

Their debates became less antagonistic and more scholarly. Their fights became discussions of their opinions and the facts and they normally were able to come to a middle compromise that made the most sense. They soared back to the top of their class and were considered to be the smartest witch and wizard of their age and several ages past.

Though they caught grief from both the Gryffindors and Slytherins for slumming with the wrong house neither of them cared and just avoided their own common rooms until they had no choice but to part ways. Even then they found ways to send notes to each other using house elves or school owls.

In fourth year the school held the annual Yule ball to celebrate before the coming winter holidays. Hermione had not really considered it at all until Tom had appeared in their usual spot in the library, a rare Egyptian Orchid in one hand and that lazy smile on his lips. He had given her the flower and asked her to be his date to the dance.

To say she was shocked had been an understatement. Though they were always together, he had never once shown any interest in being more than friends and though her heart had fallen for him by the end of third year, she had kept it to herself. She had accepted with an embarrassing amount of red to her cheeks and his eyes had warmed as he kissed her knuckles.

The dance had been the most magical experience she had to date at the school and as the clock struck midnight, they found themselves on the top of the astronomy tower. He had taken her in his arms and kissed her. At first it had been gentle and slow but as she melted against him he had stopped playing the gentleman. As he said the year before…manners were not his thing.

He had kissed her like he was going to devour her very soul. His hands gripped and held her tightly to him as he ravaged her mouth like a man starving. Her whimpers only seem to push him further into the hell storm they had opened and with a groan he had lifted her into his arms and set her on the railing, pushing his way between her legs. He tasted like the night around them, crisp and cold and dangerous. For a moment she understood what the wolves prey felt like as he pulled back to gaze into her eyes, his burning with a predatory light she had never seen before.

The thrill of fear only intensified the moment and as he leaned in to trail wet kisses and less than gentle nips to her neck, she gave herself up to his branding, not caring if he ended up being the wolf and her the deer. They had kissed and touched, whimpers and groans echoing off the walls as he had held her hips tightly and rolled his own.

The friction of his arousal petting roughly against her core had sent her spinning into a world of white hot pleasure. Her cry was muffled as he took her mouth again and a deep growl of satisfaction rumbled up his chest as she felt his length pulse in time to his own orgasm.

Both had pulled back to rest their foreheads together, their eyes closed as their panting breaths collided between them. A giggle from her had pulled a chuckle from him and with grins of secret knowledge shared, he had helped her down and straightened her dress and hair before casting a cleaning charm on his own clothing. Gathering the lost gentleman, he had offered her his arm and walked her all the way back to her tower.

That night had broken the wall they had between them and stolen kisses and touches were just as frequent as studying and discussions. He had gone back to the orphanage over the holiday only to show up at her house a week later. Her parents had gone to Aspen for the holiday and she had welcomed him in to her home with not a single care in the world.

The summer between fifth and sixth year she had given him her innocence and taken his in the garden of her parent's house. They had been reading quietly, lying on a blanket under her favorite willow tree. One kiss had led to another until neither of them could deny their needs any longer. It had been soft and sweet at first and then the darkness inside had taken him and dragged her along for the ride.

The sound of skin slapping against skin had been jarring at first in the quiet stillness of the garden but she had lost herself in the way her body came apart for him and she didn't have the sense to be embarrassed anymore. Her nails had bitten into his skin as he had set his teeth into hers and both of them had come screaming as the pleasure tore through them, their magic twisting and crashing against the others in a torrent of power.

That had been the beginning of the end and as she lay in his arms, her heart racing and her breathing sawing in and out of her lungs, she had known no different. The words were out of her mouth before she considered the implication or what it might do to them.

"I love you."

He had stiffened for a second and then had pulled her tightly against him and kissed her forehead. She knew he had trouble believing in things like love after all her had learned about his own mother and what she had done to his father. She knew it would take time and had not cared at all that he didn't say it back…in time he would…or she had thought.

The start of sixth year saw them less together. They had different classes as Gryffindor took most of their classes with Ravenclaw. The few advanced classes they had together found him sitting with one of his cronies again, his excuse being that Avery or Mulciber needed his help to make sure they passed.

Their library time became shorter and shorter and with every moment of time spent alone, Hermione started to wonder if maybe she should have kept her heart tucked away in a silent corner of her mind. Any time she tried to talk to him about it, he would tell her everything was fine and he just needed time to deal with other things.

That summer he left and spent it with The Malfoy family and she did not receive one letter from him. When they returned for their seventh and final year, he returned with Drucila Black on his arm and offered her the barest of nods and a frown before walking away.

Though she felt like her entire world had shattered, Hermione lost herself in her books. Where Tom began to laugh more and smile often, talking to his group of Slytherin friends as if he didn't have a care in the world, she withdrew more and more into herself until the silence was the only thing she knew. He spent every free moment with them, his arm around his new pureblood girlfriend while she faded into obscurity.

They bumped into each other once in October and she had stared at him with a dead look, her insides now frozen solid and stone cold. She wanted so much to congratulate him on his happiness, wish him well…but the words would not come. His eyes had held a hint of sorrow and for a moment his hand twitched towards her face before he had growled low in his throat and spun around on his heels to leave.

"I'm sorry."

That was not what she had wanted to say but it seemed her brain and her heart were no longer on the same page. His shoulders tensed as he stopped moving and looked back over his shoulder at her.

"What?"

His eyes looked haunted and it was the last thing she wanted to see on his face.

"For not being enough or for being too much to handle…I don't know…whatever drove you away…I'm sorry."

Licking her lips and swallowing around the lump in her throat, Hermione kept her eyes on his as she watched him shore up his defenses and glare at her.

"You look happy with her and I hope she continues to make you happy in the future."

Not giving him a chance to speak, Hermione turned and hurried away, the damn breaking again into tears that cascaded down her face.

That moment had been the last time she had been within touching distance of him. While his grades seemed to slide down hill, his social life spun out of control. He had meetings with diplomats from the ministry and company big wigs that all wanted to meet Tom Marvolo Riddle and his beautiful girlfriend Drucila.

Hermione took top of their class and she held onto that with very little satisfaction. She had just as many meetings with Masters in different fields who all wanted her as an apprentice upon her graduation. She had taken it all in stride, her pain hidden behind layers of stone and ice, her answers concise and crisp as she looked at every angle of every offer. In the end she made no promises but took all of her offers and contemplated them in her free time.

Her eyes had caught his too many times to count and each time the conflicting emotions always made her wonder how much of his own chaos was no longer directed by him but running rampant in his own head. One moment he would be sorrowful. Another he would glare like he used to, the hate burning in his eyes. Sometimes he was cold like her and others she swore she could feel some secret he was holding that he needed her to know.

In the end it really didn't matter. As another gust of wind whirled around her she blinked her eyes, tears frozen from falling by will alone. She let her eyes roam over his face as it turned to the sky in what she liked to call his free laugh. As the beautiful girl at his side swatted his arm gently in admonishment, Hermione had seen and had enough.

She had tried to be happy for him and move on. She thought if she closed it all off for long enough that she would be fine and could move on. It turned out when one fell in love with someone like Tom Marvolo Riddle…one did not just walk away after unscathed. Nothing had any substance anymore.

Food tasted like ash in her mouth. Books were like pieces of trash stapled together for her to dig through like a bag lady on the street. What was a future without his light in it? She had tried to see her way through it but it turned out logic and emotion did not go hand in hand. They were so far apart that she couldn't find a way to drag one to the other to help heal her burning bridges and now it was too late.

She could be happy for him but there was no way she could make it through and to the other side of this. Knowing now what it felt like to be surrounded by all he was, she didn't want to live in the emptiness he left.

Pulling herself up she teetered on the railing before righting her balance. She took one last look at him before she turned her eyes to the sky. The clouds had cleared away, the universe giving her a glimpse of the stars she hoped to soar to soon, as if it knew she needed that last thread of hope in this moment of utter darkness. Spreading her arms wide as she tilted her face to the moon, she heard a scream of terror, high pitched and shrill as she pivoted on her feet and tipped herself backwards.

The wind streamed like shards of icy glass through her hair and along her bare arms, the Yule ball dress from fourth year altered to fit her frame flapping wildly as she plummeted towards the unforgiving ground…the stone as cold and hard as her heart now was.

She kept her eyes on the stars. They seemed to shimmer and glisten as her hair streamed around her face and the opening on the tower rushed further away.

"HERMIONE!"


	4. Chapter 4

That moment in the library was just the start. Tom found not only did he not want to be separated from Hermione for any reason but he realized when he stopped pushing her away due to his own selfish wants…he enjoyed her company immensely. She was unbelievably brilliant but that wasn't all. Her insight to problems and ideas, theories they discussed, it differed from the way he viewed the world and gave him an interesting second perspective.

They debated and discussed every single thing that came to mind and he found that even though they were rarely of the same mind starting out, once they tore the topic to little pieces together, they found some compromise that they could both agree on as a much more informed fact. He had never met anyone like her and as the weeks poured into months, he had no issue ignoring everyone else in favor of her.

They both caught grief from their respective houses, her more than him as he put his housemates in their place very quickly when it started. Their friendship also seemed to have the undesired effect of garnering him more attention of the female persuasion. The witches in his house and even some in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff would try their best to talk to him whenever Hermione was not around.

Though most boys his age would have loved the attention, he found their topics of conversation and their come hither eyes to be insipid and uninspired. Why would he give his time to someone with half a brain and a beautiful face? They had nothing to truly offer him in his day to day life. He understood that for the pureblood's that was exactly what they wanted. They wanted a beautiful wife who would warm their beds and have their baser urges firing full steam ahead and satisfied.

Maybe it was because he was raised by a mother who until her recent demise had been left alone and destitute due to her baser instincts and needs. Maybe it was recently meeting his father and grandfather, even though they did not realize he was related to them, and seeing how happy they were with their wives…wives that could converse about anything from the weather to politics to the war.

Whatever mix of those circumstances that made him the way he was, Tom could not see giving up his spare time to spend with an empty-headed porcelain doll when he could have a walking encyclopedia with a back bone and opinions to talk to instead. His companions thought he was utterly off his rocker for wanting to spend time with a Gryffindor know-it-all over someone like Drucila Black and he didn't bother trying to explain it. They would never understand and he didn't have the time or care to explain it. Some idiocy you couldn't fix and they were that 'some'.

The more time he spent with his little lion the more that warm feeling cocooned him inside. He began to feel like an addict, running to her as soon as he was able so she would smile or huff at him, argue some thought he threw out just to get her riled, and have that warmth spread once more. Not understanding it became an issue as fourth year rolled around and gossip began about this upcoming Yule ball.

He knew every witch and wizard old enough to attend was talking about it like it was the next world series Quidditch match. The females were unbearable in their preparation and their longing glances at any wizard that caught their fancy. He was actually quite disgusted by all the fanfare and fair weather interest until Avery made a comment to him about Hermione.

It seemed they were all under the impression he was going to ask her to be his date. He and Hermione were not like that though. She was just a friend and though he enjoyed and tended to selfishly hog all of her time, they were still only…friends…right?

Then he had taken Avery's caution that another wizard would ask her to go then if he didn't mind as she was starting to blossom into a very pretty little witch. The white hot rage he had felt at the very idea surprised him so much he had actually asked Avery what it meant…without his usual stealth. Surprised to be chosen at that moment as a confidant, Avery had cautiously said that if the idea pissed him off that badly…there may be more to them than just…friendship.

He had spent weeks after paying attention more specifically to his interaction with Hermione and her responses to him. He watched other couples together and their mannerisms, looks, the sighs and smiles. And he realized something he had yet to put together. They may not have labeled it. Hell they didn't even acknowledge it or each other as such…but he and Hermione were a…couple.

Determined that no other wizard would take what was his, even if unknowingly, to a ball where she would dress up and they would hold her Tom had gone into Hogsmeade and purchased a rare and beautiful orchid that reminded him of his little lion. Making sure to look a little more careless that day as she seemed to like the less put together him Tom had asked her to the dance with the flowers and a lazy smile.

Her reddened cheeks and shy grin had caused a new sensation around his heart identical to the one he had the first time she smiled at him. On impulse he kissed her knuckles as he had seen Abraxas do when she said she would go with him and he reveled in the blush spreading down her neck. He had no idea he could unsettle her so…it was…exhilarating.

He had no idea what to expect but as he picked her up in front of the portrait at Gryffindor tower, it was not the stunning witch in periwinkle with her wild curls tamed to a style more seen on the pureblood witches. She was for a moment the picture of the perfect date…beautiful, soft, lovely covering a mind that could out think the most brilliant of scholars. He felt his pants grow tight and had to force that away as he took her arm in his.

Eating and dancing, laughing and talking had led them away from the party and the crowd and up to the astronomy tower for some fresh air and quiet. Looking at her as she leaned on the railing, the winter air blowing a few escaped wisps of her hair from her face, her cheeks pinking in the cold, Tom had another roll of that primal urge and this time gave in to it.

Turning her to face him he leaned in and carefully placed his lips against hers. Her lips parted on a sigh and he sought that elusive and tempting tongue with his own. Nipping at her bottom lip and finally knowing how sweet it tasted helped him to understand why she was always biting on it. Of course as he did she melted against his body, every signal he had ever heard about laid open for him as a go and he lost his hold on the animal inside.

One hand sliding down to grip her hip, he took the back of her neck in his other hand and tilted her head slightly. With the angle right he dove in, kissing her the way he had wanted to for the past few months. He took every whimper and gasp, every drop of her sweet lips and tongue inside his body and stashed it away for later savoring. One especially needy whimper sent his needs into overdrive and with little thought or effort he lifted her up onto the railing and situated himself between her legs. Her warm center was like a furnace against his hardened cock and his groan came out as almost a growl.

He couldn't get enough of her taste, apples dipped in sugar and a hint of honey, or maybe that is just what he associated her flavor with. He continued to dip in deep, licking every inch of her mouth as he dueled with her tongue for dominance. Until this moment he had never truly understood it…but he did now. She was his!

His hips moved in the age old dance even with their clothing on, is lack of experience not in any way evident if her moans were anything to go by. Like any good scholar, he took his ques from her until she was a panting, gasping mess in his arms. Her legs tightened around his hips a moment before she spilled over the edge into pleasured oblivion and he took her mouth again to keep anyone from hearing noises that belonged only to him as he found his own release.

He really didn't remember what came after. He knew he had straightened them up and had walked her like a gentleman back to her dorm but he floated on a cloud of euphoria and wasn't really even back to himself until the next day. Of course nothing went back to the exact spot after that night.

He couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her from that point on and found himself distracted more often than not when she would sigh or bite her lip or wet them as she talked. He would steal her lips anytime he was able and he rejoiced each time she melted into him without protest. Nothing had ever been just his…until her and he couldn't help but greedily take every single moment she allowed.

The winter break came and though he was supposed to stay at the orphanage, he charmed Mrs. Cole with a bit of magic and made his way to the address Hermione had given him. Unlike him she lived in a nice neighborhood and for a moment he considered turning around and going back. That was until he saw her through the window, her hair tied up in a ponytail, curls wildly streaming down her back, a book in one hand and a smile on her face as she wandered through her home.

They spent that summer talking and kissing, spending every literal waking moment together as she showed him her home, her life, and finally was able to get him to talk some about his. He had never shared his past with anyone but he found himself laying it all at her feet one night. Instead of turning from him, she had held him to her and they had slept wrapped in each other's arms.

Fifth year came and went just the same and that summer found him not only back at her house but alone with her once again. They had been reading their own novels in her back garden and the sun gently caressing her skin through the hanging branches of the willow tree had tempted him. He wanted to touch her just as softly for once.

He had intended only to kiss her for a moment or two but her surrender under his gentle touches had been not only her undoing but his. He had managed to reign in the darkness, the animal for a while and took her innocence with patience and care. Once he knew she was going to be okay, he had let go once more, knowing she never shied away from any part of him.

The louder the cries the more he took her until his breath sawed in and out of his lungs like razor blades, sharp and quick. Every sting of her nails into his skin had only snapped his hips forward to bury deep inside her warm body. Her body tightened around him as her back arched and he lost the battle with his own release. Setting his teeth into her skin, a mark he hoped lasted for days, Tom let his baser urges rule him completely as he emptied his seed into her in long ropes.

Their magic rushed forward to collide between them, sending shock waves of magical pleasure along their skin and bones. He had read about it once that only the most powerful could touch another's magic and it only solidified what he already knew about them.

As he lay there, his heart pounding against his rib cage he thought nothing could ever ruin this feeling. He should have known better. The universe hated him and would never see him content…his mother had warned him. Just like his father turning on him the past winter break and telling him that he would never be his son, it seemed he would not be allowed to keep this witch either.

"I love you."

Those three fucking words…manipulation wrapped in a pretty bow of batted eyes and flowered words. His stomach turned as he tensed and he knew that what he thought was a differently made girl was just the same trap wrapped in a different disguise. Not wanting to give away that he was on to her and having a possible fight, Tom pulled her tight against him and wiped the sneer off of his face as he kissed her forehead. He just had to get out of her clutches safely and with his mind intact and he could rectify this situation after.

He had fled two days later and at the start of the next school year he found a way to be very busy. Though neither of them needed his help, Tom told Hermione that he wanted to make sure Avery and Mulciber passed their advanced classes. Avery seemed reluctant to help and had tried to get Tom to talk about what was going on. After a few well-placed spells, the questions had stopped and both of his dorm mates had gone along with his ploy.

As the months passed and they spent less time together, Tom's anger simmered to a low boil and that sharp pain in his chest became more persistent. There were days he had to remind himself that he was staying away as something would come up and his first thought was to tell or talk to Hermione about it.

Near the end of the year he was in a constant state of numbed pain and he couldn't figure out why. He didn't do love or believe in love so every reason Avery laid at his feet was thrown away as fairy tale bullshite. He was happy to receive the invitation to come stay at the Malfoy estate over the summer break. He was hoping being surrounded by the other purebloods and their father's businessmen would help shake him from this funk he was in.

Brax had told him the best way to forget one female was to get between the smooth thighs of another. That was how Drucila ended up back in his life. She was set to marry an older wizard in France when she graduated and didn't want that to be the only wizard she had enjoyed. So began their agreement. He would escort her around so no one found out about her engagement until they graduated…she didn't want the pity. In return he could take his pleasure from her anytime he wanted to and she wouldn't protest.

The last year of school he laughed more and studied less. He took meetings with all the influential people Brax brought his way and he watched Avery drift away from him as he lost himself in the pureblood world. When no one was looking he covertly sought out Hermione with his eyes only to freeze in puzzlement once more as she came into view. Her grades did not suffer but only continued to rise. He heard about each and every apprenticeship she was offered and that she was taking time to really consider before choosing. She stayed to herself but that was not unusual at all. The one thing he could not seem to let go was her eyes.

They had once held so much expression and fire. Her eyes told him everything she was feeling or thinking and he had loved being able to see her wheels turning as she spoke or they debated. Now her eyes were stone cold and lifeless. There was no care or warmth. She didn't help others with tasks like she used to in class and she rarely answered questions.

She was like a shell of former self. If he were honest with himself…she reminded him of his mother at the end. Though he knew that couldn't be true because she had so much more to offer the world and the world had so much more to offer her.

Near the end of the year they bumped into each other literally and as he took in her perfect appearance and her lifeless eyes he felt that same sharp pain in his chest that he had come to associate with her as much as he used to the warmth. He felt his hand move of its own accord and his anger spiked at his need to still touch her after all this time and effort to stay away.

Spinning around to leave he was stopped in his tracks by her softly spoken apology. He was more than a little confused as he turned his head back to look at her.

"For not being enough or for being too much to handle…I don't know…whatever drove you away…I'm sorry."

That tongue of hers, the temptress of her warm mouth, came out to wet her lips and the jerk of need that slammed into him shamed all experiences he had up to this point with Drucila. What they had was stale compared to this primal force of nature and he slammed his control in to place to keep from picking her up and slamming her into the wall to take her the way his body was demanding he take his witch.

"You look happy with her and I hope she continues to make you happy in the future."

Her words only sank past his raging desire and into his brain once she was out of sight, her rushing footsteps the only noise in the hallway. What did she mean by not enough? Until she had tried to trap him with those….those words…she had been everything to him! His body aching its demands and his mind trying to break apart under her words, Tom left to find Dru. If he was going to use her then he was going to take full advantage of the outlet he was given.

Since that day he did his best not to look her way. Something inside him seemed to die a little more any time she caught his eye. Which is how he ended up out here, around this stupid fire, in the middle of the night. Everyone wanted to do one last get together before they left Hogwarts for their last winter break.

Brax said something totally inane but he laughed just like everyone else, his mind already fighting to break away from the lack of intellect he was surrounded by. Dru swatted at his arm in retaliation for laughing and he gave her his customary smile. Her grin matched his as she winked at him and he leaned over to brush a kiss along her cheek.

A shrill scream cut through the night air and he whipped his head around. His eyes landed on a seventh year Hufflepuff whose eyes were rounded in horror as she gripped her boyfriend tightly with one hand and pointed with the other.

Everything from that moment seemed to move in slow motion. He heard Drucila cry out as Avery cussed with a hissed yell. His eyes followed the girls arm up until they landed on what had everyone's attention.

For a moment his brain would not register what he was seeing except for a beautiful periwinkle dress fluttering in the freezing wind. Beautiful curls looked like they were falling up as the rush of the air whipped them around the angel that was flying. Then reality caught up to him and in that moment his mouth screamed what his brain was still trying to process.

"HERMIONE!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: I shamelessly used a line from the song I listened to on repeat as I wrote this ending. The song is 'The Other Side' by Ruelle and the line is in italics. This song has become the theme for this story and several of my others if not all my HP fics and the impossible ships I love to write. It may just be my muses personal theme song at this point. **

**A huge thanks to Ruelle for sharing her gift with us in the form of song so that I could even have it to pull on!**

* * *

He was already moving before the last of her name left his lips. Summoning his magic around him in a display he never planned to demonstrate in front of other people, Tom focused and apparated. The force of his spell was a loud crack that bounced painfully off the stone walls of the tower as he appeared at her side in midair. Wrapping his arms around her even as she cried out in shock, Tom pushed his body and hers into black mist, defying gravity as he pulled his witch off of her path towards death and back up into the sky with a cry of his own.

Leaving behind the horrified crowd below them and the castle grounds, Tom kept his arms tightly around Hermione as he flew over the forest until he reached a hill that overlooked the entire area. His mind a whirl of chaos once again, his landing was less than smooth and they stumbled a few steps, his arms tightening around her to keep her on her feet as he fell to his knees in front of her.

"What the fuck Hermione…why?"

He knew his voice was loud in the silent night but he couldn't find that calm center he was used to operating from. Pushing to his feet in a fit of rage, he grabbed her arms and shook her none too gently with a growl.

"What could possibly make you not only contemplate that but actually go through with it? Do you have any idea what a waste that would have been? You stupid, empty-headed, over emotional witch!"

Her tiny hands came up as she jerked out of his grip, her magic flaring to shove him back a few steps away from her. Her face twisted with agony and anger and the look caused his heart to crack a little more in his chest.

"What would have possibly been wasted Riddle? I'm not worth anything…you proved that to me when you walked away like I was just another pointless piece of trash to be ignored. I told you years ago…everything that happens in a person's life shapes them, has consequences! What did you think was going to happen when you took my heart and soul from me and then walked away? I am not made of stone you asshole!"

It was the most emotion he had seen cross her face since he started trying to distance himself and the physical reaction her anger elicited was entirely inappropriate and yet felt so right. He could feel her rage and her pain radiating against his magic as her own rushed up to lash out in her defense.

"You would have died…"

He knew his confusion bled through his words but the chaos that was his insides wouldn't let him hide anything in that moment.

"That was the point!"

"I don't understand how I could matter so much to you that you would throw away your entire future in one fell swoop. You were always better than me…than us…"

Her scornful laugh sent pain through his chest but he kept on anyway.

"I knew the moment you said those fucking words that I would end up hating you because that concept is just ludicrous to me. Love is used to manipulate, to steer someone the way you want them to go…my mother taught me that…you know that!"

Turning in frustration, Tom let his magic lash out and score the rocks around them with deep grooves as he tried to fight off that bottomless pit of rage that was washing up and over him. Her scoff only rubbed against his anger like sandpaper and he spun around with a sneer on his face to be met by her own glare of aggravation.

"That is a pathetic crutch you have there…Riddle."

"TOM!"

The derision in her expression as she raised an eyebrow caused him to pause. She had not looked at him like that since the potion's accident and he didn't know how to take it anymore.

"We chose what we believe, what lessons we take from our lives. No one forces you to make choices like that. Yes…your mother was fucking insane and she did awful things to get what she wanted from your father. That isn't love you ignorant ass…that is obsession, greed, selfishness…not love."

She took a step towards him and for the first time in his life he was afraid. His feet took a step back before he had a chance to tell his brain to hold his ground. Not caring that it seemed like he was retreating, Hermione kept coming until his back hit one of the rocks he had just attacked and he stumbled to a halt. Her hand rose towards his face and he knew he flinched when her eyes turned from angry to sad.

Her hand dropped back to her side as she looked away from him and up to the stars. A shiver went over him as her irises filled with the starlight and the warmth drained from her gaze again. He could imagine that is what the stars felt like…a cold fire burning deep in their center.

"You asked me why once before when I saved you from the potion accident in third year. I gave you a generic answer then, the only one I was willing to admit."

Her eyes dropped back to him and the depth of her pain hidden so far behind the ice pierced him deep in his core.

"I knew then that you were special. I had never met anyone like you…so much like me. Every day I fought you and I stood my ground against you and your lot…and I hated it. Not because I had to defend myself against bullies once more but because I had to fight against someone who I knew should have been on my side. We were two sides of the same coin you and I. And yet you treated me like I was a worth less than nothing while you walked around like you were made of the finest spun goblin silver."

Turning her back to him she walked to the edge of the hill and looked down. His heart stuttered to a stop before picking up a hard rhythm of fear. Moving so that he was within touching distance, he held his ground and watched her with his single minded focus as she seemed to contemplate the drop once more.

"I only had a split second to decide between you or myself when I heard that hiss and it really wasn't a decision at all. It was a simple deduction on my part that was made by the small piece of me that longed for you to see me the way I saw you…as an equal, someone I could lean on and care about and protect from everyone else."

Her face turned towards him, the agony back in her eyes as her tears leaked past her lashes and fell like silent accusations down her face.

"I couldn't imagine…_didn't want to know the other side of a world without you _so I pushed you out of the way and could only hope if I didn't survive that you would go on with your life with a softer heart towards the next me you met."

Tom felt his something inside him shift in an odd way as the truth of her words shone so brightly in her eyes. He had to physically restrain himself from reaching for her as she continued to talk.

"I didn't mean to fall in love with you Riddle but that kind of thing is not exactly something you can control. Once things changed and you were there by me instead of against me…I think it was inevitable. How could I know you and not love you? And I thought if I gave it time, if I showed you that what your mother called love was not truly love that maybe…one day…you could love me too. I would have waited till the end of my days for that…for you."

That pain intensified in his chest at the same time that the rolling warmth spread through his limbs, raising the hairs on his arms and legs and the back of his neck and making his head feel light.

"The only selfish thing I did was tell you when I should have kept my mouth shut. But I wanted you…no…I needed you to know that you meant that much to me and in that moment I didn't give it time to find the words to express it in a way you wouldn't freak out over. I was high on pleasure and the bliss of being in your arms and I left my brain somewhere between 'oh gods yes' and 'please don't stop'. And apologizing for that seems asinine so I won't."

Her repeated words from that day set his blood on fire and he knew by her stuttered breath that his eyes turned dark with desire. Keeping a tight leash on that animal instinct, he stepped closer to her and stared down into her upturned eyes.

"What does love feel like then Hermione…if not what my mother described?"

Her breath panted across his face as she swallowed around what he guessed was a dry throat. He knew his close proximity always had that effect on her physically and he used it shameless in this moment to keep her mind on him and away from that cliff. He couldn't have explained it to anyone or himself but the very thought of her falling through the air like that again sent his insides into a state of panic.

"It's many things Ridd…"

He knew his look was reprimanding even as he lifted his hand to grip her neck gently in his hand. He felt her pulse beating like a trapped butterfly under her skin and could feel satisfaction roll through him knowing she was not as cut off as she tried to portray between her bouts of emotion.

"…Tom. It's a warmth that keeps you in the coldest of times. It's joy and satisfaction at having someone to share your triumphant with and security and comfort at having that same someone stand by your side when the world is falling apart around you. It's pain and agony when they are angry or silent, when they storm away or refuse to let you help them and sheer pleasure when you are one with each other and on the same page."

"Love is all encompassing. It can build the strongest foundation to stand on and if not tended correctly, it can break a person so deeply that life is not worth seeking anymore. It can be good and it can be bad but it is priceless and uncompromising and worth every single second you are able to have it. Sometimes it is fleeting, like with young people who think they have found the one only to drift apart. Other times it is forever, the very air you breathe, the spark that keeps your soul powered."

Rubbing his thumb back and forth over her pulse, Tom assessed all of the many damnable emotions that had plagued him the past two years and with her falling from the tower burnt into his mind, it was like finally solving an arithmacy problem that had been just out of reach of his understanding.

He could feel his eyes widen as he whispered 'fuck' in surprise. Looking back and forth between her eyes as he let his newest realization sink in, Tom couldn't help the wonder that took over his face.

"Tom? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Her worry flooded her eyes as she lifted her hands to touch his face. He had no idea what she had interpreted from his face but he was sure she had misread. Of course since he normally hid all but the most surface feelings…he really wasn't surprised. Closing his eyes at the remembered softness and warmth of her hands, he leaned his face more fully into her hold as he let a self-deprecating chuckle pass his lips.

"Salazar Hermione…I'm so fucking sorry."

He felt her start and opening his eyes he made sure she could see the truth of his words.

"I used my mother's sins and mistakes as an excuse to keep everyone including you at arm's length. In doing so, I have wasted the past two years that I could have had drowning in your warmth, fighting a ghost. For someone so supposedly brilliant…I'm an idiot aren't I?"

For the first time in two years he felt a real smile pull at his lips and he watched more tears form in her eyes and fall as she looked at him.

"I don't understand."

He let the laugh that statement caused bubble out as he tossed his head back. For the first time in his eighteen years he was free to laugh, to feel, to believe and he let that wash over him with no resistance.

"I am positive I will never hear those words out of your mouth ever again so I am going to make a pensive memory of this moment to look back on years from now Hermione."

Her brows drew down in annoyance even as her lips tilted slightly in a smile.

"Fuck witch…I love you. Why didn't you hit me over the head until I realized that sooner rather than letting me push you away like the idiot that it appears I am?"

Her eyes rounded in shock as her breath seemed to stall in her chest. He cupped her face this time as he brushed the tears that continued to flow down her face.

"You are supposed to say something witty or use that sharp tongue to flay me alive for my denseness or at the very least tell me you love me but hate me and will never forgive me until I make you or something equally sappy and ridiculous."

Her frozen expression caused a tiny wave of fear to skitter down his spine. Sliding his hands into her hair, he tilted her head and took her mouth with a desperation of a man who knew he was about to lose his very reason for existence. She had to know! She couldn't…she just…she had to forgive him…right?

At first it was like kissing a warm, life like statue. As he pressed his lips to hers, brushed them back and forth to try to coax her into a response, she simply stood there. Just as he whimpered and feared he had truly lost her, she gave a muted sob against his lips and fell into him. Her hands gripped the front of his robes as she pushed up on her toes and lined the length of her body against his. He dropped his hands to wrap around her back, pulling her tight against him as he lost himself in her kiss and suddenly remember just what forever tasted like.

With just as much force she yanked away from him, the cry of frustration and anger rippling through the air and straight into his soul. Her hand lifted and he knew she was going to strike him but at the last second he watched that rage turn on its owner and she crumpled to the ground in a heap. The sobs that tore from her throat felt like knives inside his chest as he followed her down.

She fought against his hold for only a moment before giving in to his strength and letting him gather her into his arms and lap even as her pain fell between them with the sounds of a wounded and dying animal. She had never been so out of control in all the time he had known her and he hated himself for being the cause of it. If it had been anyone else that had caused this in her, he would have handed them their heart, still dripping in blood straight from their chest.

He couldn't actually hand her his heart physically like she deserved in this moment of darkness but he could hand it to her in a different way. Steeling himself for the rejection he believed he deserved and hoping his little lion would once again prove him wrong, he stopped trying to be perfect in every little thing and laid himself open.

"I know I hurt you and you did nothing to deserve it. You were always light and warmth, laughter and relief. I let my own disease infect you…infect us and what we had. I tainted it and I am sorrier than I know how to express for that. There are not enough words in any language with which to ask for your forgiveness or tell you how sorry I am."

He rubbed soothing circles along her back and he held her to him like the precious gift that she was.

"And it's not fair to ask this of you but you have to stop crying because I can't handle it. I know that is selfish and such a fucking Riddle thing to say but it's the truth and I'm not above begging you. Please…please stop crying. Please Hermione…hate me, scream and rage at me, tell me that you will never forgive me or let me inside your paradise again but I'm fucking begging you…please stop crying."

Her sob came out as half a laugh as she shook her head against his chest.

"You are such a prick Tom Riddle."

Pulling back just enough to lift her head, her eyes red and puffy from her tears, her face streaked with running kohl from her eyes, she took in his face before hers softened.

"You deserve all of that and more. It has been so cold…so utterly lonely without you and you left me that way. I should get up right now and walk off that cliff and finish what I intended from the tower and let you spend the rest of your life knowing you had love in your hands and let it go."

Her sigh was so forlorn that he feared that was exactly what she might end up doing. His hold tightened on her even as he shook his head in denial.

"But…I won't do that. Because no matter how much of an idiot you were…or are…you are my idiot and I love you. I knew loving you might come with a lifetime of yearning and pain and still I loved you. I just never expected to have to watch you with someone else instead of being with me. You broke a piece of me that I couldn't seem to get back or see past and suddenly nothing seemed worth trying for or caring about."

Her eyes turned to hard slits as she reached up to grip his hair in a painful tug.

"Don't ever do that to me again Tom or I will show you what happens when I let anger win out over sorrow."

Letting the pain wash over him and rinse him clean, he closed his eyes and nodded his head as best he could in her grip, the pain radiating along his scalp as it pulled his hair even more. She released him then and leaned her head against his chest, her breath still shuttering out as she tried to contain her sorrow and pain.

"About Drucila…"

"Don't! I don't care what the reason or circumstances are or were….not yet at least. I can't take that tonight. Just shut up and hold me. The rest of the world can go fuck itself for all I care."

His chest tightened in pain even as it lightened in relief. Tightening his hold on her again, he laid his head on top of hers and gently rocked her as the winter wind swirled around them and his witch slowly found her way back from the edge of oblivion. Casting a warming charm over them, he smiled as she stopped shivering and seemed to sink into him even more. He had a lot to make up for but he could start easy and keep her safe and warm…it was the least he could do for all the things she had given him. No matter what…she would never be alone or cold again.


End file.
